Group Wants to Teach Chief Justice About Oral Sex
TalkingCock.com,
February 22, 2004 (Satire)
http://www.talkingcock.com/html/article.php?sid=1341
By K.K. Cheow
People Lick Us (PLU), a local group advocating the
decriminalization of oral sex, wants to teach Chief Justice Yong Pung How
about it.
CJ
Yong had declined to acquit a man of committing ‘carnal intercourse against
the order of nature’ by having oral sex with a teenage girl, even though the
sex was consensual and even despite evidence that she had been a serial
fellater and suggestions that the accused had been misled about her age.
CJ Yong, however, did halve his sentence, even as he
disallowed the admission of fresh evidence contradicting the prosecution’s
case.
In his judgment, the Chief Justice laid into arguments
that oral sex is natural, saying “certain offences that are so repulsive in
Asian culture”, and that “there are countries where you can go and suck
away for all you are worth… People in high places do it for all they’re
worth. I’m not an expert, but you read about it in the papers. But this is
Asia.”
“The Chief’s judgment is very disappointing,” said
People Lick Us spokesman Mr. Felay Teo in a press conference held outside the
Supreme Court. “He clearly believes the submissions about oral sex being
natural are fallacious. It’s a sign of how out of touch he is. And we want
to change that.”
Mr. Teo was accompanied by around twenty attractive young
PLU activists sporting t-shirts saying, “Give the CJ a BJ”.
“By his own admission, the CJ says he’s not an
expert,” Mr Teo continued. “Well, then why is he presiding over the case?
Why was there no expert testimony to guide him? Clearly, the whole situation
sucks big time.”
PLU has drawn up a tour itinerary ranging from Desker
Road to India, Hatyai, Hong Kong and Shenzhen to show the Chief Justice that
oral sex is very much a part of Asian practice, and has been for millennia.
“After all, it’s in the Kama Sutra. How much proof do
you need it’s a traditional Asian practice?” asked Mr. Teo. “We just
regret that the CJ clearly hasn’t been lucky enough to experience it first
hand, that’s all. But we’re willing to help him with that too, with our
own oral testimony.”
“Come on, Your Honour!” shouted Mr. Teo in the
direction of the Court, to the cheers of his supporters. “Let’s change CJ
Yong Pung How to CJ Yong Pung Why Not?”
The Chief Justice, meanwhile, has been reported to be
annoyed at the barrage of criticism surrounding his judgment. Said a
Justices’ Law Clerk who wished to remain anonymous, “The Chief thinks this
whole thing has been blown out of proportion.”
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